A co-family refers to two families that jointly employ the same nanny at home, alternating the place of care. This shared care arrangement is based on a co-employment contract: each family is an employer, shares the salary costs, and benefits from CAF assistance just like an individual care arrangement.
Finding the right co-family goes beyond simply spotting neighbors with a child of the same age. The compatibility criteria are more nuanced than one might think, and a casting error can complicate the relationship for months.
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Educational compatibility between co-families: a criterion that geographical proximity cannot replace
There is a strong temptation to choose the first available family in your building or street. Geographical proximity makes logistics easier, but it does not guarantee anything in terms of education.
Two families sharing a nanny also share daily rules: screen management, diet, nap rhythm, response to crying. If their approaches diverge too much, the nanny finds herself mediating between two contradictory frameworks, which degrades the quality of care for both children.
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Before validating a co-family, a thorough discussion on these concrete topics helps avoid recurring disagreements. Several parents looking to find a co-family with Familles Connectées start by filling out a compatibility questionnaire that addresses these points from the first contact.
Elements to clarify before committing:
- The specific care hours desired by each family, including telecommuting days and professional travel constraints
- Non-negotiable educational principles (organic food, no screens, daily outings to the park) and those on which a compromise is acceptable
- The geographical distribution: alternating homes each week or each day, and which housing is best suited if one of the two is too small
Budget and shared care contract: anticipating financial imbalances
Sharing costs is one of the major attractions of shared care. Each family pays about half of the nanny’s gross salary, making home care accessible to budgets that could not afford it alone.
This seemingly simple distribution becomes complicated as soon as the hourly volumes differ. A family that needs the nanny four days a week and another five days do not bear the same cost. The employment contract must specify the exact breakdown of hours and each family’s share.
What the CESU circular of May 2026 changes for co-families
The circular of May 12, 2026, regarding CESU Childcare for 0-6 years has changed the aid brackets. The removal of a €200 bracket intended for the most modest households makes certain shared care configurations less advantageous for these families. Checking eligibility for the new brackets before setting the nanny’s salary avoids unpleasant surprises at the end of the month.
To compensate for this decrease, some co-families adjust care hours to remain below a cost threshold compatible with the remaining aids. Others turn to complementary arrangements offered by their employer or community.
Searching for a co-family by geographical area: effective channels
Specialized platforms for connecting families remain the most effective channel. They allow filtering by postal code, age of children, and time slots. Some, like Nidouyé, use geolocation to display nearby families in real-time.
Offline channels still have their usefulness. Bulletin boards in preschools and early childhood centers (RPE) in your community concentrate announcements from families already engaged in an active search. The RPE can also act as a mediator in case of disagreements between co-families regarding the contract or care conditions.
Writing an ad that filters incompatible profiles
An ad that is too vague attracts dozens of unqualified responses. Mentioning the precise hours, neighborhood, age of your child, and your two or three priority educational criteria in the ad text reduces the volume of contacts but increases their relevance.
Specifying whether you already have a nanny or if you are also looking for a childcare professional changes the nature of the exchange. A co-family that arrives with its already recruited nanny offers a turnkey package but leaves less room for the other family in choosing the person who will care for their children.
First meeting between co-families: points to validate in person
A phone call or message exchange is not enough. A physical meeting, ideally at the home where care will most often take place, allows for checking concrete elements: available play space, safety of the home, presence of pets, ambient noise.
Observing the children together during this visit provides an initial indicator of compatibility. Two children of the same age within a few months share activities more easily. A gap of more than a year and a half can work, but it requires a nanny capable of managing very different needs simultaneously.
Formalizing agreements in writing from the first meeting protects both parties. A simple document listing the hours, salary distribution, rules for replacement in case of the nanny’s illness, and the separation procedure if the co-family arrangement no longer works helps avoid unspoken conflicts that can escalate.
The sharing of the daily parental presence allowance (AJPP) was simplified in June 2026 for alternating care situations, allowing both parents to share this allowance. This change directly affects shared care families facing a sick child or a child with a disability. Checking your rights with the CAF at the time of setting up the contract, rather than when the need arises, remains the most useful precaution.